My Blessing Preview

A special teaser of the prologue and first chapter of the new story "My Blessing". 

Hey, everyone! Since this is the holiday season, I wanted to give you a very special gift. "My Blessing" will be a retelling/continuation of "The Blessing" in Bella's perspective. We'll see her thoughts and feelings during the original story, plus what life is like for them after the conclusion of "The Blessing". The original story is very special to me and I think this retelling will be just as special. I'll start posting this story in 2018, so, I hope you guys are ready. Please leave me a review to let me know what you think of this! 

Just to warn you, this preview is UNEDITED! Happy Holidays! 

My Blessing by highlanderprincess

Prologue

There are some things you never forget. Like the quiet halls that seem endless, the faint smell of antiseptic and urine, the way the fluorescent lights reflect against the large windows looking out into the dark, ominous sky, and the sounds of dozens machines telling you that the end will come soon. My last memories of her involved a cold hospital room. I had spent hours at her side. Afraid to use the bathroom because I thought in the few minutes I would be away she would pass on. I didn’t want to miss a single thing. So, I stayed paralyzed in my chair. Watching and waiting for something--anything--to happen.

My dad had been resigned that final day. He knew what was coming. I could see it on his face and in the depths of his bloodshot eyes. He sat by her side and held her hand, but was too overwhelmed to utter a single word. When I couldn’t bring myself to look at my mom, I would look at his face and try to read his expression. What I saw there made me weep. I looked to Alice, who seemed just as distraught and then realized I couldn’t stay in that room for a moment longer. I had to escape. Even if just for a few minutes. I kissed my mom on the forehead before making my way down the hall toward the restroom. It was straight down and to the right. I sat on the toilet for a few minutes with my head in my hands. Just wanting a few moments of clarity. When I finally felt all right again, I left the bathroom to return room 3718 at the end of the hall.

As I turned the corner I saw one nurse go into my mother’s room. And then another. Before, finally, the NP came flying down the opposite hallway with a doctor running behind her, following the loud beeps that were coming from my mother’s room. It all felt like it was happening in slow motion. I felt like I was watching a TV show because all of a sudden, I barely felt tethered to my own body. I was witnessing something horrible and I couldn’t move my legs any faster. Slowly, I walked down the hall, listening to the commotion coming from her room. It wasn’t until I heard my sister’s cries that I broke out into a run, flying down the hallway like the NP did moments before.

The hallway felt endless as I ran toward her room. It felt like no matter how quickly I ran, I couldn’t get there fast enough. I heard the wild beeps turn into one long, resigned one as she flatlined. I burst into the room to see my sister crying in her chair, holding onto my mother’s blanket, while my father sat motionless at her side. He was holding her hand and was expressionless. I just stood there and looked at her, my mind unable to fulling process what was happening. She just looked like she was asleep. She looked peaceful. Which was nice to see after she’d been in pain for so, so long. When I finally started crying, I couldn’t stop for a long time. My dad had to carry me out to his mother’s car because I didn’t want to leave my mother’s room.

The memory of that night will stay with me forever. I cherish every moment I had with my mother. She was the most incredible woman I ever knew. That’s why I understand Edward’s pain so completely. He thinks he’s alone in this, but I’ll be at his side for as long as he wants me. He thinks he’s handling it poorly, but in all honesty, he’s handling the loss of his brother better than I had handled my mother’s death. Edward is so much stronger than he realizes. I wish I knew how he sees himself. It’s like he hates who he is and doesn’t realize his own strength and amazing character. I can’t explain how difficult it is to love someone who hates himself. Love? Do I really love Edward. We’ve been friends for a while but there’s nothing more between us. At least, not yet. Could I possibly love him already?

Yes. I know I do. I see through his harsh exterior and find the man he truly is. That man is strong, caring, and intelligent. Patient beyond belief. With a heart that big enough to love so many people. All I can hope is that one day he’ll feel the same way about me as I do about him. One day we’ll move past all of this pain and find happiness.

Together.

Chapter 1- First Sight

There are moments that you just know. You see someone and imagine an entire life with them. At least, I do. When I first met Edward Cullen I was completely taken aback. He was everything I never knew I wanted. Everything my father warned me against. He had this bad-boy exterior, but there was something in his eyes that suggested he wasn’t as rough as I thought.

He must’ve just gotten off work. He was filthy and sweaty and obviously exhausted. His hair was wild and his face was scruffy and covered in specks of dirt. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his tattoos. He’s covered in them. Every inch of exposed flesh is painted in beautiful ink. I found him staring at a few microwave dinners with a perturbed look on his handsome face. I’ve never seen someone stare at different styles of microwavable mac & cheese dishes with such intensity. I had to smile. It was obvious that he hadn’t done much grocery shopping--if any.

I breezed past him, putting an extra sway in my hips because I felt his eyes on me. I couldn’t bring myself to look back at him, because I had been so shy at the time. I hadn’t even spoken a word to him and I knew that he made me feel like no one else. It was in the way he looked at me. His gaze was so predatory. I could feel his lust as I past him. However, I felt something else too. When I allowed myself a single glimpse before turning toward the aisle of ice cream and frozen desserts, I found him slumped against his cart as he pushed it forward. He looked defeated. At the time, I couldn’t imagine why. However, as I got to know him I found that despite his handsome face, he was filled with self-doubt. Even to this day I know there are times where he doesn’t feel good enough--doesn’t feel worthy of the life he has. It’s frustrating because I want him to see himself the way that I do.

That night I went to my sister, Alice’s house. They frequently had me over for dinner. Every since our mom passed away when we were children, family became extremely important to us. Life is so precious and you just never know when the day might be your last. That’s why Alice insisted on my frequent visits. I couldn’t deny her a thing, because I am her best friend after all. She’d always harassed me about how much I worked. Stating that like her, I should find a nice man and settle down. I tried that route, several times, and never found any success. Every man I met seemed nice initially, but they always found a way to prove me wrong.

The last boyfriend I had--who’s name I don’t even want to think about--had practically ruined me for all men. Not in the way people usually think, like the “this fictional character ruined me for all real men because he sets my standards so high,” sort of way. No he--who I don’t want to even bother naming--took every dream I had about men and crushed them. I couldn’t bring myself to trust anyone for a long time after I finally kicked him out of my life. Just thinking about him now makes my skin crawl. I don’t think I could hate anyone the way I hate him.

He’d seemed so nice at first--so friendly. I would’ve never guessed who he truly was. When I look back at my past with him, I can’t help but wonder if any of it is my fault. Maybe I could’ve done something--anything to prevent what happened--but another part of me wonders if any attempt I made would’ve been futile. I’ve played the scenarios in my head over and over again, wondering where I went wrong or what I could’ve done differently. Yet, I know hindsight is 20/20. It’s easy for me to say, “I should’ve done this,” now because I’m no longer in the horrible situation… Stop thinking about this, Bella. No good ever comes from thinking of this. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and direct my thoughts someplace more pleasant. Just thinking of Edward calms me down and suddenly, I can breathe again.

That night with my sister, I thought of that mysterious, hot, ink covered man all throughout dinner. I kicked myself for being so shy, wondering why on Earth I didn’t just go up to him and introduce myself. I made a vow to talk to him the next time I saw him. All I would have to do is summon the courage to do so…

“Bella, what are you thinking about? You’ve been quiet all dinner,” my sister commented as she helped feed her daughter, Cyndy.

“Nothing,” I answered shyly. “I was just thinking about work.”

Alice gave me a knowing grin, like she does whenever she manages to read my face like an open book. “Bella, don't give me that. I see that look on your face and I know what you're thinking about isn't work.”

I rolled my eyes at her and she laughed at me. What was i supposed to tell her? I saw a man who I thought was attractive and that was it? There was nothing exciting about that. Besides, I had thought I’d never see him again. I thought that encounter was just a fleeting possibility of what could’ve been. I never knew if I would see him again.

“What are you thinking?”

I turn onto my side and find Edward smirking at me. He always knows when I’m thinking about him. I swear, he has some sort of radar or something. Or maybe I’m just an open book. I nestle my body against his and he wraps his arms around me. Kissing my forehead before he lays in silence, awaiting my answer.

“I was just thinking about how we met,” I finally reply as I run a finger casually up and down the cuts of his abdominal muscles.

“Really?” Edward grins at me. “I think about that all of the time.”

“Really?” I ask incredulously. With two kids and a new promotion, I’m surprised Edward has time to think about anything else. Although, despite his rough exterior, I always thought he was a hopeless romantic.

“Yeah, really.” He smiles at me and runs his fingers through my tousled hair. “Whenever I wonder ‘how did this gorgeous girl get with a guy like me?’ I think about it,” he teases me.

I smile at his answer and when I crane my neck up to press my lips against his, I feel a little foot kick me in the back, informing us that we’re not alone. Charlie had gotten over his whole ‘sleep with mommy and daddy’ phase until Edward let him watch Child’s Play for some God forsaken reason. Now, Charlie can’t seem to go to bed by himself without thinking Chuckie will come out of his closet and get him. So, while Edward complains about getting “cock-blocked,” it’s all his fault.

Charlie climbs over me until he falls between me and his father. He smiles at me, obviously wide awake despite the late hour, and takes my arm and wraps it around him. He’s so a cute little guy. At four years old, he still looks really young. He’s smaller than the other kids in his preschool but I assure him that one day he’ll sprout up to be just as tall as his daddy.

“How you see daddy?” Charlie asks as he looks between the two of us with wide, curious eyes.

“You want to know how mommy and daddy met?” I shot Edward a questioning glance, wondering if telling him this story would be a good idea. How much should we reveal to him? I don’t want to tell him about Seth right now. Besides, I’m not sure if that information should come from me. Edward and I wanted to wait until he was older to tell him, because now I’m not sure if he’d truly understand.

“Just start off from the moment we met--I’ll fill in the blanks for him later,” Edward says, giving me an encouraging smile.

“Okay, buddy. Are you sure you’re not too sleepy to hear this? It’s getting pretty late…”

“No, mommy! I hear it!”

“Okay, it all started out when you were a little baby…”